My Scoliosis Saga

I came bottom of the class in my Geography exam. Yeah! At least I got some recognition…even if it was sniggering.

Oh well, what can you do with a Geography qualification anyway? That is the big question of the week.

Today, it is raining yet again. The problem is that my brace doesn’t take too well to this weather - I just sweat, because it’s not sunny, not that cold, but muggy. I prefer the winter. I’ve got an extra layer. I’m about to put my brace back on actually, as I took it off to have a shower - my hour is up. I only wish there was that water cooling system thing like they have in computers these days. Just tubes of cold water running down the inside.

Oh well, it’s not bad like the 50s and 60s in America when children were sent to special spine hospitals. They made them lie on tables and hang weights from their bodies (which they still do today) if the spine was drastically curved. I went to Sainsbury’s the other day, and this woman in front, about 50 or older, had a really curved spine, like this:

Actually, I couldn’t find a picture bad enough. It was worse than this:

My friend couldn’t believe it. I think it was a single curve because it looked so bad. The top of the curve was practically resting on the bottom bit.

I wonder if she also had to wear a brace. Maybe not if she was English - not sure what they used to do in this country. In America, I get the impression that scoliosis is much more recognised. Anyway, the braces used to be plaster casts which went from under the chin and up slightly behind the head and all the way down to the thighs. So, like, you couldn’t turn if someone called your name. You had to turn your entire body.

I was reading one account recently (http://www.healthinjoy.com/index.php) where this woman had to wear a brace like this for a whole year, and didn’t even get a chance to have a bath before she had to put it on. No baths for a year as she couldn’t take it off. Though apparently some doctors believe it only works if you NEVER take it off until you stop growing, which is why there is so much scepticism with the boston brace.

Also, they had to eat lying down, more or less lived lying down, lost breathing space in their lungs…

It’s quite a sad website actually. I tried to email her and didn’t receive a reply. So I checked again, and found this. Quite sad really.

Hey, here’s something wierd I found:

A fish with scoliosis! Sadly, this fish is labelled as “deformed” on the website. Fish, you’re not deformed, you’re beautiful!

Woo hoo! It was the last day of my summer exams today, and I feel happier than when I take the first sguidgy bite of a chocolate eclair. Or maybe happy is the wrong word - maybe it’s free. I feel freer than how George Bush feels when he looks down on the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay. Okay, maybe that’s not right either. He never visits Guantanamo Bay.

Anyway, the reason why freer is a better word, despite the fact that I am still encased in this white, bodice, tomb thing and am not actually free from this godforsaken back curvature that becomes more uncomfortable every day, is because I’m not really happy about the Geography exam - my final exam. I’m rubbish at Geography, but I never used to be. History is now my best subject, like, the battle of Hastings and stuff. I don’t like staring at co-ordinates on maps, and naming the 5 cities in Italy blah blah blah…

So I’ve probably scored lower than the thickest girl in the class. I know that sounds bitchy. I don’t mean it to sound like that, know what I mean? She’s nice and everything but she is dim. Oh well, she’s got her prettiness to fall back on. Wish I was pretty and clever. James Dean - I mean, Jason obviously doesn’t think so. I’m just some little toy he can play with, make me fancy him, and then still carry on being Amy’s boyfriend. I’m one of those little cloth fishes they have hanging from plastic rods, that your nan has for her cat, and it’s mangled ’cause the cat tears it to pieces, and Jason is the cat and I stink of tuna breath. Miaow. No, I have to stop thinking of him like that. I should be pleased for my friend. Don’t think I’m jealous - I’m not. I’m just frustrated that people all go for the same person all the time. It’s like, all the boys go for Amy ’cause all the other boys do. If she’s not around, then they might get interested, but don’t do anything with any of us ’cause they don’t want to cramp their chances with her.

But what if they all went after me? Or two did, then the rest would follow, because it’s cool to do that - go for the same person. That person is fashionable to go for.

Calm down, Molly. Deep breaths…count…

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Better.

Anyway, I’m meant to be celebrating my freedom. Well, free until I get my results. Then I’m thrown into the dungeons of guilt when I realise I didn’t revise enough, I spent too much time colour co-ordinating my revision plan, too many hours staring and imagining what Jason’s lips feel like, what his arms would feel like around me, his aftershave (does he shave?) permeating my nose, his hands rubbing my back/brace (if I can feel him through it), and Amy glaring at us from behind me (now I would definitely feel her eyes burning through the brace).

There I go again. I’m going to watch some TV. Hopefully, Eastenders is on. Makes me feel better watching other people’s rubbish lives. Hope the tennis has finished - can’t stand fit people at the moment. Except Jason.

Thought I’d catch up with the ol’ blog whilst I have nothing to do during this breaktime, and because I may not be able to at the weekend. We’re all going to my nan and granddad’s. No, not those ones with the fit boy next door. These ones are evil.

I think Jason might like me. Either that, or he’s playing me. So glad Amy doesn’t know about this blog, or I couldn’t talk about this stuff. Anyway, he was with Amy when he started talking about Damien, even apologized for him - yeah Jason is really mature. This was just in the high street, by the way, after school the other day.

Anyway, we started talking and I hated it, ’cause I went so red. I’d tried telling myself I didn’t fancy him anymore since he’s been seeing Amy. I even stopped looking out of my window for him skating down the street, though that’s probably more ’cause he skates to Amy’s house now instead of his friend’s down my road. So, when I bumped into him and Amy, it shocked me that I felt so attracted to him. I think Amy thought I was embarrassed ’cause Jason was talking about Damien and stuff. She started saying how rude Damien was for talking about me like that. He then asked me about my brace. I took the opportunity to show him a bit.

Okay, I know it’s not the same as showing a bit of skin and he was stood next to his girlfriend, but, he tapped the brace. Actually tapped it with a knuckle. It made me shiver. And the funny thing is is that Amy actually got jealous, and said,

“Don’t do that! She doesn’t like it!”

I said,

“I don’t mind.”

Jason said,

“Yeah, she doesn’t mind. I only wanted to see what it felt like.”

Then he called me a fembot. I didn’t know what that was (I do now). But I took offense in a joking way, and was like,

“Hey, no I’m not! Amy, tell your boyfriend I am not a fembot!”

Oh dear, I say to myself now. Oh dear. We were flirting in front of his girlfriend, my friend. But like she never did it with anyone else’s boyfriends! Yeah right. So she said something about needing to get home, and dragged him off. He grinned at me over his shoulder as they walked away.

I can’t tell if he fancies me, or is just trying to be friendly with Amy’s friends.

You’d think I’d have chances with Jason now, especially seeing as he’s cut his nails. But nope. Amy told him to do that - she’s going out with him.

Never managed to speak to Damien about what he said the other night. No, his mum wouldn’t let me in the house. She said, he was feeling very down about it all. I said,

“He dumped me! And he’s being saying stuff about me and my back problem.”

She said,

“My Damien wouldn’t do that,” and  shut the door. That didn’t stop me from reaching him after school.

I got his bus today and confronted him in front of everyone. The problem was, the more I said that I wasn’t obsessed with my back, the more his friends took it to mean that I was! In the end, Amy had enough.

“Damien, you can’t deny that you told Molly you were falling for her!”

He then did deny it. But Claire came to the rescue.

“Don’t worry, Molly,” she said to me in front of everyone around him on the bus, “you wouldn’t wanna go out with someone who has diarrheoa. You’d be kissing him, and you’d like touch his bum -” - his immature friends went crazy at this - “and he’d like s*** all over your hand. He was lucky he had you while he let it last.”

This reference to an old story about Damien’s sorrowful experience at primary school, that he had revealed to me in confidence, and I had revealed to my friends in confidence, had been proclaimed to everyone else on the bus. From Damien’s face, I knew that he knew that this story would soon be the talk of pupils around the town who had never met him before. He glimpsed my embarrassed face - embarrassed that he knew I’d told my friends this secret (which was later dissolved by Amy who reassured me that it wasn’t my fault) - and looked away.

I haven’t felt quite justified by my victory all evening. It wasn’t really a draw, 1-1. I dunno, it’s weird. It was his fault for spreading rumours, and yet mine for going out with him in the first place. We hadn’t gained points, but lost them.

Zero - Zero.

0-0.

In tennis: Love-Love.

Damien dumped me. Well, that relationship was short lived. He reckoned that, “We don’t want the same things in life.” Oh please. He told me he was falling for me last week. Blatantly got wind that I was dumping him.

Actually that’s not all. I was halfway through writing this when I rang Amy ’cause I got this really weird text through, just saying, “Got news on Damien. Call me now!” So yeah, I found out that he told everyone that I was a freak ’cause of the brace thing. I won’t repeat the words I used about him on this post. He said that I was obsessed with it. Am I? I mean, do I write or talk about it non-stop? Okay, fine I have a blog with a scoliosis theme, but why doesn’t he get over it? Maybe it’s actually helping me! Agh! I’m so angry. Gonna go over to his. He’s got a lot of explaining…

Yo, yo, yo I’m back in the blogging game.

Sorry I’ve been away. But you know, I just didn’t feel like writing for a while. Not much has happened for me to talk about really. Apart from that I have a boyfriend called Damien. Hold your cheering - I really don’t fancy him. I thought I’d grow to like him, but, well, he’s a year older and he’s obsessed with military vehicles. Tanks, subs (great, I’m starting to abbreviate their names now), you name it, he’s got a poster of it on his bedroom wall. Pink bedroom wall. Okay, okay, I shouldn’t judge a boy by his taste in colour - but I am. Also, he’s got a big nose. Again, I shouldn’t judge, but, it’s like an effing Formula One car. In fact, loads of boys have huge shnozzberries all of a sudden. It’s weird - like plastic surgeons have jumped on them and twisted their facial features (and my spine) overnight. Where the hell do those noses come from? Of course, as my nan says, they grow into their noses. And their ears. And their teeth, so it’s only a matter of time… But I just don’t fancy him.

His friend Jason on the other hand…He is f-i-T - with a capital tit-twiddling ‘T’! He’s in a band (but he’s a bit rubbish). Doesn’t matter though - he’s James Dean reincarnated. He skates past my house on his skateboard and every time I hear it, I run to the window and sigh. He’s starting to grow dreadlocks, and even a moustache, which I thought was impossible for a fourteen year old. Apparently not. His does look a bit like the one on my nan’s upper lip though.

There is one drawback of his appearance that spites his good looks - there always is; if they don’t have a squeaky voice, they smoke, and if they don’t smoke then they have ugly shoes. This time, he has long nails. Yes, longer than mine, and they aren’t clean. They have mud under them from football practises and matches. I’m surprised they haven’t told him to trim them. We used to have to trim ours for netball tournaments at primary school. Maybe I’ll get Damien to say something to him about them. He’s quite good like that, always doing what I say. Then once those nails are snipped, he’ll be perfect.

But then, what about Damien?

I decided to give the answers a day early. Hopefully it’ll be more popular the next time I do it, and more people will have a go.

1. What is the fifth word to appear in the actual text of Dr. Seuss’ book: “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish”?

Answer: Red

2. How many years has the ‘Neighbours’ series been running?

Answer: 22 years in the UK

3. What is Green Tripe?

Answer: Lining from the fourth stomach of a cow

4. If x = y + 6 and the square root of y = 12, what is x?

Answer: x = 150

5. How many children are there in The Waltons?

Answer: 7

6. What is the chemical formula of sodium chloride?

Answer: NaCl

7. What is sodium chloride more commonly known as?

Answer: Table salt

8. From what song are these lyrics taken: “I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. I want it more than I can tell.”

Answer: Belle (reprise) from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast

9. In what year was Winston Churchill re-elected as Prime Minister?

Answer: 1951

10. On what date did the famous Battle of the Somme take place in World War I?

Answer: 1st July 1916

Well done to those who answered correctly. All one of you.

I’m watching Britain’s Got Talent and I am cringing. Not cringing at myself for watching such a programme - oh I’ve gotten over that. It’s not like those other shows, because they’re mainly original acts, or at least that’s the excuse I tell myself. Saying that, many are the same original acts. Little kids dressed up as show dancers in those old women’s tights, small, white teeth glaring, prancing about doing high kicks, like some of the girls still do in my class actually…it does make one’s stomach turn from time to time.

Some are excellent - gymnasts bending over backwards touching their belly buttons with their feet, ten year olds that have lungs with the power of a Harley Davidson that thrust out these loud, high singing voices - that kind of thing.

The things that make this show cringeworthysome are the bloody boring magicians, the man playing the Star Wars theme tune to a keyboard backing track - that kind of thing. But I especially cringe at some of the judges’ reactions. Saying that, they’re not as nasty comments as those that the judges make on X Factor.

Oh well, at least the acts aren’t as odd as the people I just watched in this next programme. It was about two men who have sexual relationships with their cars. I mean I love fig rolls, but I’d never, you know, I don’t know what. Mum doesn’t know I watched it - she’s in bed, and Dad’s at a poker night.

Hm, I should go on one of these Britain’s Got Talent shows and smash glass bottles on my brace, and get boxers to beat my torso. They’d probably all buzz me though with their evil crosses. Or maybe it could be a race against time to see how quickly I can tie up the buckles on the back of my brace without the aid of mirror, which I don’t need anyway. That kind of thing.

I was watching Neighbours yesterday, and I was sure I recognised one of the actresses from somewhere before (Petra Yared - Marco’s sister):

It dawned on me where I recognised so many of the cast from - Neighbours.

She played Georgia Brown and was caught in a love triangle with Billy Kennedy and Melissa, his girlfriend, years ago.

Is it just me, or does this series have a knack of re-using old actors and actresses every few years? Apparently this particular one is quite a well known face in Aussie.

As you can tell, aside from Hollyoaks and University Challenge, Neighbours is my favourite programme. Do they not think that fans will recognise these people that they like to regurgitate back into their programmes with the rotation speed of Britney Spears’ hair styles?

Here are a few more:

Sheena Wilson went out with Toadie, and then reappeared a couple of years later as a fellow student from Cindi’s school, Cindi being Toadie’s then girlfriend. She just happened to go to the same primary school. She was SUCH an annoying actress, why did they re-use her?

There are others I can picture but can’t remember their names to find their pictures.

Maybe it’s because they’re cheaper to re-use - they can trick them with cheap contracts again or something? Or they’re still on old contracts?

Don’t you also love the way that Karl Kennedy has been allowed to practice medicine again? Now they don’t have to bring in someone else to play a doctor and pay more money obviously. Surely in real life, Karl wouldn’t be allowed to practice at that hospital again after he breached the privacy rules with that whole Sky baby affair?

Here’s one character I think they should bring back: Pinhead

It’s not a picture of what he looked like in Neighbours. Funny, he’s played at least three characters in the series too.

OMG he’s based in London, I think. OMGG he’s 5ft11 and weighs just over 9 stones! That’s impossible, surely?